Just separated? Four things to sort out first

Separating is one of the hardest things people go through, and it rarely happens at a convenient time. You don't need to solve everything at once. These are the four things that matter most in the first few weeks, in the order they matter.

1. Make sure you and your children are safe

If you're worried about violence or threats, your safety comes first. In an emergency, call 000. For confidential counselling and support at any hour, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732. A solicitor can help you apply for a domestic violence order, including urgently.

2. Agree on arrangements for the children, even short term

Children cope better with a predictable routine. Try to agree on where they'll live and when they'll see each parent, even if it's only for the next few weeks. You can put a longer-term agreement in writing later, as a parenting plan or consent orders.

If you can't agree, family dispute resolution, a form of mediation, is usually the next step. In most cases you'll need a certificate from a family dispute resolution practitioner before you can ask a court for parenting orders. There are exceptions, such as family violence or urgency.

3. Get a clear picture of your finances

Write down what you own and what you owe: the home, bank accounts, cars, superannuation, loans and credit cards. Keep copies of statements. Avoid big financial moves, like selling assets or taking on new debt, until you've had advice.

Time limits apply. If you were married, you generally need to apply for a property settlement within 12 months of your divorce taking effect. If you were in a de facto relationship, it's generally within two years of separating. After that you need the court's permission, which isn't guaranteed.

4. Get advice early, even if you hope to agree

Most separating couples reach agreement without going to court. Advice early on helps you understand what a fair outcome looks like, so you can negotiate with confidence and avoid agreements you'll regret. Our first call is free, and there's no obligation.